Hello. My name is Ben and this is my new blog. Okay, that was a terrible way to start. Let me try this again.
Hi. Let's be honest for a minute - if you are reading this, chances are you already know me, and to be perfectly frank I find that a little discouraging. Sorry. I don't mean to be rude. It's just that there is not much of an overlap between people who already know me and people who might potentially care about my opinions. Here, I think this diagram will explain it better:
See how small that middle group is?
This is fine with me, though, because it is my intent that the consistent quality and unique humor of this blog's content will, over time, amass a legion of devoted readers who cling to every word posted by me (and my BFFFFF* Jesse, who will be a frequent guest blogger)! It's like we'll be atheist messiahs.
Or, you know, we could spend the next year writing shit that absolutely no one will read, which is also cool, I guess.
Truthfully, I just started this blog because I've wanted to start a blog for the past few years. Actually, about two years ago Jesse and I did start writing a short-lived blog called "Nobody to Thank," which rapidly fell apart because me trying to mess with the coding for Wordpress is a lot like a chimpanzee trying to beat tetris on hard mode - it is a task that is both implausible and unbelievably frustrating. So, sadly, the momentum for writing and maintaining a blog was quickly lost, and I've spent the past two years conjuring up brilliant observations and saying "this would be a great topic to blog about, if I had a freaking blog!" about five times a day.
So, fuck it. Here it is, starting right now, on fucking blogspot. Nothing fancy or gimmicky this time, just me and Jesse giving you straight-up talk about the issues. What issues, you may ask? All the issues. All the important ones, anyway. Here's a list:
- atheism
- science
- cheap, immature jokes targeted towards people with wacky religious beliefs
- feminism
- polyamory
- adderall (specifically, where can I get some)
- the unsettling decline of good progressive rock music**
- the economy
- my embarrassing lack of understanding about how the economy really works
- my continued annoyance with the organic food industry
- hats
- abortions
- the war on terror
- honest opinions of the Harry Potter movies (WARNING: MAY BE CONTROVERSIAL)
- bunnies?
- the pros and cons of writing about blog topics in improvised list format
You get the idea. This blog is going to be awesome. And in addition to all the engaging, thought-provoking essays discussing every one of the topics listed above, there will also be:
-comics***
-videos
-songs
-short stories
-whatever else Jesse and I feel like posting
Our goal is write/make something new and post it here at least once a day, until one of us gets promoted to some sort of writing gig that actually pays money, or until the universe ends. Either way, I hope you'll want to keep reading.
*I am not quite sure what all the Fs stand for, but for the sake of establishing clear definitions, I'll just say it spells "Best Friends Forever (and also) Fuck French Fries (because they suck)"
**no, Muse does not count as progressive rock.
***just warning you, my idea of making a "comic" is something like this:
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