Happy 4/20!

Hi there!  Did you miss me?  What?  You didn't even notice I was gone?  Really?  Well, fuck you too, buddy.

Anyway, happy 4/20!  In honor of the holiday I'd like to talk a little bit about, yes, pot.  Specifically, I want to address the following question:

"Can Pot Treat Cancer Without The Devastating Effects Of Chemotherapy?"

This is the title of a multi-page handout someone gave to me a while ago.  After only glancing at the contents, my pro-legalizing-marijuana instincts kicked in and I thought only about how neat it was that somebody was recognizing the important medical potential of marijuana.  After reading the contents more closely, I realized a couple of disturbing things.  First of all, the majority of the article was copied and pasted from this book excerpt without giving the author, Martin A. Lee, any credit - the last half-page of the handout is the only part that the "author" (who identifies as "Green Angel") seems to have actually written.  Secondly, whoever this "Green Angel" person is, he/she has committed one of my worst pet peeves: taken actual, legitimate scientific research and used it to reach a TERRIBLE conclusion for the purpose of a political agenda.  

What that terrible conclusion is, I'll get to in a minute.  First, let me quote the actual sciencey part.  Pay attention to the various stages of source material, and how, much like a game of telephone, the original message becomes more and more distorted depending on who is relaying it:

"Animal experiments conducted by Manuel Guzmán at Madrid’s Complutense University in the late 1990s revealed that a synthetic cannabinoid injected directly into a malignant brain tumor could eradicate it. Reported in Nature Medicine, this remarkable finding prompted additional studies in Spain and elsewhere that confirmed the anticancer properties of marijuana-derived compounds."

This is all true, as far as I have gathered… and yes, it's pretty awesome.  The idea that the drug you use to make Dark Side of the Moon a more enjoyable listening experience is the same drug that could, potentially, be used as a serious method for treating cancer is an exciting prospect for pretty much anyone.  But note the word potentially.  As is almost always the case with medical breakthroughs, the actual results boil down to about 10% "this looks promising!" and 90% "here's what we still need to do before we know this for sure, and before our findings will be of any practical use."  In Manuel Guzmán's own words, from the original report:

"The fair safety profile of THC, together with its possible antiproliferative action on tumor cells, may set the basis for future trials aimed at evaluating the potential antitumoral activity of cannabinoids."

 Sure, phrases like "future trials" and "possible antiproliferative action" aren't quite as sexy as "pot cures cancer!" but legitimate science has an annoying tendency to be, you know, honest.

Anyway, the book excerpt goes on (this is still the part that was written by Martin A. Lee from his book "Smoke Signals") to compare Guzmán's findings to current chemotherapy drugs:

"Guzmán and his colleagues found that THC and its synthetic emulators selectively killed tumor cells while leaving healthy cells unscathed. No Big Pharma chemotherapy drugs could induce apoptosis (cell death) in cancer cells without trashing the whole body. Up to 90 percent of advanced cancer patients suffer cognitive dysfunction from “chemo brain,” a common side effect of corporate cancer meds that indiscriminately destroy brain matter, whereas cannabinoids are free-radical scavengers that protect brain tissue and stimulate brain cell growth."

Fair enough, although the use of the phrase "Big Pharma" suggests that we're drifting slightly away from pure scientific analysis and slightly towards a more politicized discussion, but there's nothing wrong with that.  Lee then goes on to list similar studies from other scientists, who have found cannabinoid compounds to be useful in treating prostate cancer, colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, leukemia, stomach cancer, lung cancer, and more.  For each item on the list, he only briefly mentions the country or university of the scientists and provides a half-sentence description on what each study supposedly found.  I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that all of these studies are legitimate, partially because the online excerpt doesn't provide a convenient way to track down each individual source.

But then, the book excerpt ends, and I can't help but notice that there is a slight transition in tone:

"How do you get cannabis oil?  We all have "that" friend we know is a believer in the power of pot!  Ask!  Medical Cannabis is legal in 17 States and many countries- In Missouri and Kansas it IS NOT!!! This may be your first venture 'outside' the law but this YOUR BODY, YOUR LOVED ONE! YOUR LIFE-"

So, yes, clearly a different author now, and this suddenly sounds less like a scientific analysis and more like a sales pitch for cannabis oil.  But it gets better - 

"The latest studies show that chemo and radiation treatments accelerate and cause cancer cells to grow!"

And here's where I have some big, big problems.  Praising the medical benefits of marijuana is fine, as long as you're honest, but trying to convince cancer patients not to use chemotherapy is just fucking abhorrent.  Yes, chemo usually sucks, and unfortunately it's not always effective, but in its current form marijuana is still not an adequate substitute (and neither, I suspect, is "cannabis oil.")  By the way, the only source I found for the "study" showing that chemo causes cancer cells to grow is from this web site, which also urges you to not get vaccinated.  So, yeah, I'm not sure I'm going to buy this one.

After providing links to a few youtube videos (which I'm not going to duplicate here for the author's benefit, because I tried watching those videos and they're just… embarrassing) the author then goes on to mention that "cannabis oil" (again with the sales pitch!) can aid in treating diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, PTSD, and even skin cancer when applied topically.  No links, sources, or scientific studies are provided for this, of course, but we are assured that there are "mountains of evidence."

And then the author closes with this:

"I will say a prayer and a meditation for you on your journey to good health.  Good Luck and God Speed!"

So there you have it.  How many degrees of separation does it take to get from legit science to pure horseshit?  In this case, just one.  Let this be a valuable lesson to us, on this most sacred of holidays: always be skeptical of claims that sound too good to be true, even when they support causes that you agree with.